Jessica Williams (jess_williams) wrote in somewritesongs,
Jessica Williams


{Ignore the abbreviations in the parenthesis--they are my own notes for if I ever get this recorded}

I remember…
when I was just a little girl…
every year, I felt ten years older than I was becoming

And I remember…
while I was growing up…
the stale alienation that settled around me
the feeling of abnormality burning my rotting flesh
the words spoken so…freely

why do you exist?
why do you exist?

I remember the constant battle with an imaginary god
The explosion of weakness across the pages of my façade
The fear, the illness, the ignored cries for help

I remember her ignorance to my pain
The day I finally, finally, went insane…

My soul wasted away with my sympathy…

I remember his voice
his eyes
the acidic burn of his fingers

I remember the games
Not caring about my words
And I remember her refusal to see what existed before her

What have you done to me?

Present day…
I can still feel the traces of pain
The weighing illness of the emotions I’ve slain…

I can hear my subconscious taunting my needs
my desire to live, and breathe, and fuck

I feel like a patriarch
Plagued by memories of injustice

(strained, rough tone)
Don’t touch me
Don’t leave me…

I can feel your sins
The destruction deep within
Raped by the fingers of self deception
Clawing wildly at the spreading infection

The last time I surrendered to you
you broke off the piece of me still alive…
What do you want from me?
I’ve already fucking died
And cried
And lied
Locked up the fresh agony, deep, deep inside…

She disappears into a black hole of censorship…

My body is a war zone
I’ve brainwashed the last of my innocence
Corrupted my soul
Clung tight, so tight, God, please, make me whole…

Your suffering ignites the passion within me….

I need something to remind me of my sadistic nature
I need a body to destroy
A soul to infect
A heart to stomp on and dissect
I need to know you’re living for me
To hear you screaming my name
The desperate plea for mercy
For more
For salvation….


Baby come on…
I’m sorry…
Get up…open your eyes…
Stop it, I love you, get up…



(deep breathing) (O.M.


No one has to know…
No one…needs…to know…

(CK’s Wicked Laugh)
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